Child's Play
by Serria
Summary: Heero Yuy has landed on Earth and enrolled in an academy. Here he learns about something he had never heard of: the old Japanese warriors called Samurai. Behind the perfect soldier's expression, is there a samurai? Or is he just a little boy after all?


Setting: Right after Heero lands on Earth at the beginning in the series, and while he is attending the academy with Relena.

Rating: T for pretty mild language and mention of death... I'm sure it would pass for a lower rating but whatever.

**Child's Play  
**

* * *

It was not until that he was on Earth that Heero Yuy learned about the Samurai. 

The battle pilot, Japanese by heritage but raised on the space colonies, was smart, even genius. In fact, he prided himself in excelling at nearly everything - be it guns, sports, vocabulary, quick thinking or mobile suit fighting. He knew multiplication and algebra and calculus. Odin, a teacher he had once been student to had taught him very well how to snipe an unsuspecting victim from the building next door. He had the strength of three men and he knew that, too. He was a prodigy at working with computers and networking, and could put programs together and even better, take them apart. And oh, the Wing Gundam. He knew when it became necessary in a battle to fire the massive Buster Rifle or how to successfully man the controls to wield the beam saber when his energy storage was too low for projectile weaponry. He knew that Gundam down to the exact height and weight (16.3 meters and 7.1 tons respectively). Yes, he knew all of this to the point of cockiness. Not that, he told himself, he ever tried to be cocky, at least not really. The final thing that he did know was that the people he met were insignificant. His mission did not require unnecessary humility, it required hard facts and calculations and total dedication. That was all.

After he crash landed on Earth and made a clumsy, last-second escape from the Wing Gundam in its ocean grave, he recalled that damned girl, Relena. He hated the way that she looked at him with that naive concern. She had even called the ambulance. Why? He was an assassin, a killer, a soldier without any remorse. The mobile suits and battle ships filling the air should have made that obvious. So why did she interfere? He had questioned that, but only briefly. He allowed himself a quick answer that would have to quench his curiosity so that he could return to his mission, and that was that she was an idiotic schoolgirl. Her kindness probably wasn't sincere anyhow, such a spoiled, rich brat would certainly have personal motives. More importantly, he told himself, the fact that she knew that he was somehow involved in the terrorism hindered the mission and he would have to kill her. With that, he put it all to the back of his mind.

Now, by some twist of bad luck, he had enrolled himself in the same academy that she attended. His plan had been to lay low for awhile, and try and get in touch with Doctor J. If his Gundam was beyond saving - which seemed to be the case - he would self destruct it, and with the explosion himself, too. That was a good plan.

"Heero Yuy!" the fencing instructor bellowed. A fat bald man, Mr. Gunderson claimed to have once been a national fencing champion in the epee tournaments. Heero personally found the man's technique to be juvenile and his advice to be nothing more than unbeneficial. "You're looking too comfortable practicing thrusts at the target all alone. Edmond here doesn't have a partner, you two can duel for the remainder of class."

Heero shrugged. The target pinned to the wall wasn't much different from these stuck up rich kids. Edmund was a wall for all he cared. All of the students, some thirty or so, were just children and fought like that. In their clean white uniforms they delicately forwarded their weapons like fragile twigs. He knew that Relena was there somewhere He had seen her.

"Hey," the red-headed Edmond said, walking toward the pilot and smirking. He took the appropriate bow, which was refined and overly extravagant. Heero just gave a quick nod of his head. He couldn't care less about formalities. "Ready to meet your downfall, Yuy? My father has been teaching me sword fighting since I was four. Back at my summer estate my family even holds fencing competitions!"

"I'm not here to listen to you babble," Heero responded, irritated. What he was thinking was that he had once shot and killed a man who had as vividly red hair as this Edmond did. "Hyah!" Without waiting for an answer, he lunged forward. Edmond clumsily blocked, pushing the saber out of the way with his left hand at perhaps the last possible opportunity. Absolutely undaunted, Heero lunged again, and then again. Edmond changed his footing and quickly exchanged his saber into his left hand so that he was in more of a defensive position. The pilot was much faster, and noted that with the sword, Edmond was more unrefined in his blocking on the left side now, though he had quickened his right hand. Therefore, Heero made a thrust at Edmond's left lower shoulder, right near the heart. There was no block in time and his accuracy and been sufficient. The rich boy had not stood a chance.

"Why, you!" Heero could see red in Edmond's face, even under the tinted fencing mask. Then, the boy gained composure. "You're quite good! Where did you train, Heero?"

"No where you've been," he answered coolly.

"My family is one of the wealthiest here, don't assume that I haven't been all over!" Edmond seemed offended. "You're Asian, right? Did you study in China before your transfer here? Korea? Japan?"

Heero hadn't been to any of those places yet, of course, and they were all pretty meaningless to him. "All three," he said. Oh, the tone in his voice may have sounded a little sarcastic and stuck up. But he didn't care. This didn't matter. His mission mattered. "Now come on, _prepare to meet your downfall._" Okay, certainly the last bit was sarcastic and cocky, and his smirk didn't argue his case.

"You know, you're a real punk," the other said hotly. "You strut around like you own the place and treat us like dirt. You're even an asshole to Miss Relena!"

"Stop it with the dramatics. I just prefer to be left alone." The pilot stopped smirking and regarded the redhead with a serious, stony expression. "I don't think that you're dirt, you just don't matter to me. Fair enough?"

Edmond blinked, apparently unsure of what to say but looked less offended. Then he said, "You really don't care about people, huh?"

"Stop stalling." Heero bowed deeply to make it obvious that he intended to attack as soon as he was erect again. Edmond made considerably less small talk after that, and took his beating without complaint.

After that class, he was done for the day so he went back into his dorm room. He had purposefully hacked into the school accounts and set himself up with a single room. He had no desire to share with some annoying distraction from his work. Most importantly, he needed to be secretive. His mission had no room for people.

He barred the door to his room and settled himself by the laptop. After unsuccessfully trying to contact Doctor J through instant messaging, he simply wrote an e-mail. Of course he had it coded in more ways than one, and to the outsider the message would mean nothing (assuming that they ever got to it, as he deleted the computer's history every time he used it). It was the Doctor himself who had taught him such precautions, and the Doctor himself who emphasized how secretive his mission had to be.

But when he was done, Heero curled himself cross-legged on his bed and gazed out the little window, feeling what he had felt every day since he had arrived. He saw the other students playing in the courtyard with basketballs and jump ropes and handheld gaming consoles. How he hated his free time when he had to acknowledge that there was _nothing_ that he had to do for the mission at the moment. He hated this all-too-familiar feeling. It was hollow emptiness. It was loneliness.

He didn't like to daydream, but on the days when he just could not help it he saw that little girl. The little girl that he had met with the puppy, what felt like decades ago. Now she was dead. It was his fault, yes, and at first in his daydreams he saw her lifeless body over and over again. But now he would try to imagine her alive. In his head he replayed the time when he had been lying in the grass and she had skipped over to him. She had asked him if he were lost.

_"You need directions!"_ his daydream little girl said. _"I think you're lost."_

_"I'm not. Doctor J will e-mail me back any minute."_ he answered. In his daydream he imagined his voice more friendly. _"He'll have my directions."_

_"Relena was watching you sword fight!" _the girl giggled then. _"I know you noticed."_

_"I have to kill her. She saw me. My mission can't be compromised."_

_"Uh-huh."_ The little girl put her hands on her knees, leaning down to Heero's face. _"But you're not gonna. You're all talk, anyway!" _

_"What? No, I'm not."_

_"I think you want a mother."_

At those words, Heero snapped out of his half-asleep thoughts. _Ridiculous. I'm no child._ Ashamed at himself for letting his sub-conscious even think that, he stood up and shook the sleep out of his head. But even so his mind drifted again for a moment, to a memory he had. Of course, he could have made it up, because he was very young when his parents died, but he remembered a woman with a gentle face and a loving smile. He remembered her raven black hair and her soft yet firm embrace.

"Damn it," he murmured. Then there was Odin and various other teachers from the organization. But that was a good thing - when he was orphaned he was just a weak, sniveling baby. Now he was strong and a perfect, perfect soldier. He reminded himself of his mission, but he knew that he was distracted so he decided to go for a walk. He shut off his lap top and opened the door, to find Relena standing there. When Relena saw him, her cheeks tinged with pink and she let out a small gasp.

"Huh?" Heero had been too wrapped up in his brooding that he hadn't heard her outside. He narrowed his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Um," Relena stammered, then also found her composure. "Hello, Heero! I was just going to congratulate you. I saw you fencing, and you really are amazing, just like my friends told me. I wanted to say that!"

Tucked into the belt and concealed from sight in his school uniform was his handgun, and immediately he reached for it. He had his hand on it, and she noticed, but he didn't draw it out. He couldn't shoot her. Of course not, because after all, there were certainly cameras in the hallways, and he couldn't have the entire school knowing that he was an assassin. Instead he said, "I'm busy," and began to walk away.

"I heard Edmond ask you about your ethnicity!" Relena called. Despite himself, Heero slowed his pace. "I know you're Japanese. I bet you trained like a samurai! You seem just like one to me, like I heard in the stories. Quiet and calm and a warrior."

That caused Heero to stop walking. Slightly he turned his head. He had no idea what this new word, 'samurai', meant. Something Japanese, maybe? Yes, his parents were nearly pure-blooded Japanese from what the records said, but even on Earth nationality meant very little now. On the space colonies culture hadn't been preserved much at all, and L1 in particular was an absolute melting pot, unified under one language and social structure. "Hm?" he questioned without audible concern.

"The Samurai!" Relena smiled, pleased that she had caught his attention. "They were heroes of war, and defended their homes and loved ones. I'm sure they all were just as good with swords as you, too, except I think that they used katanas instead of foils. They dedicated their lives to cutting down evil and protecting good. Like you, right Heero?"

Heero's interest was sparked, but he did not like how confident and friendly she was acting. "I don't care." He turned around again, his expression stone-like. He left the girl, hearing a loud sigh as she turned in the opposite direction.

But from there Heero went to the library. With a curiosity he had never felt about Japan or any ancient history for that matter, he approached the World Resources section. He did find a book about Japan, but after quickly paging through it he found it full of useless fluff he didn't care about, like the language, sushi, and puppet theater. What was that word again? Samurai? Relena had said something about katana, a weapon he had trained with in his intense martial arts studies. Well, that was worth a shot. He then went to the Sports section, and to his surprise he found a wide selection of martial arts books. _Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, Karate... Kenjutsu and the Art of the Japanese Sword_? The pilot took this book, and to his pleasant surprise in the index listed in one of its early chapters a history of the Samurai! So they were real.

He took a seat and began to read. _The Samurai were Japanese warriors_. Yes, so was he._ The word "samurai" means "to serve." _How convenient - he served the colonies! Even Doctor J, to some extent. _The Samurai were willing to give their lives for the right._ Well, yes, Heero had already attempted self-destruction once, so... _The Samurai dedicated their lives to their training so that they could be protectors._ Heero did dedicate his entire childhood to training, and he was protecting the colonies, in an offensive way. This was perfect.

The book went on to showing old art and folktales of these warriors. The pilot was entranced. There was the story of the forty-some samurai who went to a particular noble's estate to avenge their murdered master, knowing that they would be outnumbered by his army. They went anyway, killed that lord and completed their revenge. Of course, they all died not long after and not from natural causes. Then there was the samurai who beat a cocky young warrior with just a boat ore that he had carved quickly into a make-shift wooden sword. Even against a sharp katana he had won, and killed his opponent!

It was romantic. Heero didn't know how else to describe it.

He knew now to associate the samurai with this particular martial art, _Kenjutsu._ He put the first book back and grabbed a few new ones. One had a picture-by-picture technique guide, which he soaked up like a sponge. He remembered training with the katana but specific patterns and movements weren't part of the criteria - he had learned mainly by practical sparring. What excitement! If Heero hadn't been such a composed individual he was sure that he would be bouncing in the wood chair like a seven year old.

Making a quick decision, he picked up the bundle of books, checked them out and left the library. He headed toward the empty fencing gymnasium, where the foils, sabers, epees and equipment were all neatly placed against the wall on shelves. Shutting the door behind him, he took a saber in hand, which he favored above the others because it was the heaviest. He walked out to the middle of the gym, and paged open the picture Kenjutsu book.

_I'm a Samurai._

The Mae, or Front pattern was the first pictured. First the samurai bowed, then sort of stepped forward, lowering himself and readying to draw the blade. Heero had no sheath for the saber, but he pretended anyway. The next step was a long step forward with the right foot and at the same time, the draw out of the sheath and a cut. This was awkward with the long saber, but Heero did that segment several times until he felt that he was doing it like the pictures. After that came another step forward and a massive down cut. He liked twisting the sword behind his head and letting it fall, slicing the air with a hissing sound. Then, the picture samurai flipped his sword around (Heero read in the captions that this was a "chiburi", which apparently meant "shake the blood off the sword") and stepped back to sheath it. Finally he bowed. Heero bowed, too.

He did that pattern, or rather _kata_ over and over again, until he found himself laughing to himself. He pretended that he was fighting the ugly, more evil looking samurai pictured in another of the books. In his mind, the dark samurai had done something bad, perhaps insulted his lord or something. Heero challenged the man to a fight. They were in a stadium, or whatever it was that samurai dueled in, and there were people all around. The little girl with the puppy was sitting in one of the rows, cheering him on. In his daydream he even saw a few people from the academy sitting around in the stands. Edmond was cheering him on, too. Heero smiled, and bowed respectfully to the ugly samurai. The ugly samurai bowed back. There was a silence, and then... Heero moved! Fast as lightning he drew the blade and got to the down cut. The samurai fell in a pool of blood, cursing Heero with his last words, like any proper villain. Calmly, Heero "de-blooded" his sword, and bowed to the dead man. Again, he let out a little laugh.

_"You really are a kid like me," _the little girl came up to him. She giggled, like she usually did. _"I think you need a mommy."_

_"What? No, I'm grown up now. Didn't you see how strong I was?"_ Heero gave a playfully arrogant smile.

_"Then why do you want one?"_

Heero frowned, and he was in reality again. He gathered up his books, and turned around. He noticed that when he had shut the gym door, it must have bounced open a little, because it was open a crack. He felt embarrassed and exposed, suppose someone had walked by and saw? Oh well. He'd be gone from this academy soon enough anyhow. He put the saber away and headed back toward his dorm.

In the hallways, he saw Relena with a group of her girl friends. Ignoring them, he passed by, but he heard Relena say a hasty farewell to her girls and follow him. He walked faster, and when he turned a corner Relena began to run. As he turned the nob on his door, she caught up with him, panting. "Wait, Heero..."

"What?" he asked coldly.

"I'm sorry if I offended you earlier."

He honestly had no idea what she was referring to. "What you say to me is beyond my caring," he said.

"Oh. Right." Relena sighed, then looked at him intently. "You know, what I really wanted to say is, I'm sorry that you have to cut yourself away from everyone. I know you mean to kill me, but I don't think you want to. Because I think you're just a kid like the rest of us, Heero Yuy!"

"Don't be ridiculous." He turned the nob, entering in.

"I know how it feels. I try to act like a grown-up too, because that's what my family expects me to be. That's how everyone at this Academy is! So I understand, Heero. I think you don't like being alone, and that's what you haven't killed me just yet!" she ventured to say. "If the only one you have is... is that Gundam, I hope it takes care of you."

Heero shut the door and barred it, but didn't move until he heard her footsteps leave. He knew he was glaring into the white walls, he knew that he was clenching his fists. He was furious, and in the safety of his dorm he didn't pretend that he wasn't. That stupid girl! The stupid academy, the stupid samurai, the stupid, stupid Gundam! Wing didn't take care of Heero Yuy, _he_ took care of _it_! The Gundam is just my _weapon..._

Desperately, with a certain dread in his heart, he flipped open his favorite samurai book. He turned to a section labeled "The Philosophy of the Sword".

_"To the samurai, the katana or other weapon of choice was an extension of the body. The blade was another limb and as much in the samurai's control as an arm or a leg. In battle, the samurai would often face death rather than take his hands off of his sword, for the weapon was more than just a tool for destruction - it was the samurai's _soul...

It was... cold. Heero put the book down, his eyes rising up to the window. Soul? What soul? The soul of this assassin without a name of his own and who kills little girls? The soul who had to steal the legacy of a great politician for his code name? The soul who knew _everything about everything_ except _anything that made people human_?

Everything... Buster rifle, calculus. Everything... fencing, piloting. Everything... hacking, explosives.

"That's what they taught me," Heero said quietly - it may have been out loud, it may have been in his head. "I learned everything they taught me. I learned it perfectly..."

He could see the students outside the window. Video games, basketballs and jump ropes. Not a care beyond the Academy. Smiles on their faces. "They didn't teach me..." If he had been talking out loud, it couldn't have been more than a whisper. "...how to have a soul."

With that, Heero tossed the book against the wall - it fell to the floor with a _thud_. Maybe if he had a soul, it was that Gundam. But it meant nothing to him. After all, tomorrow he was going to go and blow it up if he could. But if it was his soul, perhaps that made sense - a metallic thing only made for carrying out missions at the expense of the lives of others, with a destructive ending always near. Fine, he was no samurai. He didn't want to be anymore, anyway.

Suddenly, there was the little girl, sitting cross-legged on his bed. She wasn't smiling as she looked up at him with big, blinking eyes. She had a face of pure seriousness on her face as she said, "See? I _told_ you that you wanted a mother!"

Heero stared, and for a moment his throat ached. It wasn't a very familiar feeling, but he wondered if circumstances were appropriate to let that lump up and allow himself a quick sob to rid his gut of that aching feeling. Then, realizing with an outward scoff that he was trying to give himself permission to cry... like a little, stupid, snot-nosed lonely_... boy... _it wasn't part of the mission. Not part of the mission at all.

_Beep! Beep_! His reality check was validated when he heard the beeping noise of his lap top. It was a new letter sent fresh from Doctor J. He was receiving more details on his mission. This was a good thing, and Heero smiled. Now there would be no time to think. Now he could focus on what really mattered.

And when he turned back, the little girl was gone.

* * *

**The End.**

1. I know, I know, what blasphemy - Heero doesn't speak Japanese in my fic... actually to be honest I don't think he spoke Japanese at all in Gundam Wing. It seems like in the show there was a unification of language. And even if Japan was still in tact and they DID speak Japanese, there isn't really a reason why Heero would know it, in my opinion because he was raised on the colonies (by Odin Lowe, who sounds more Scandinavian than Japanese... maybe Heero knows Danish, ha ha).

2. The little girl is of course the girl referred to in Endless Waltz. Basically Heero was supposed to blow something up before the anime's events, and he botched up his aim with the explosived and this girl that he had met earlier died along with her puppy. In the movie he expresses his shame and guilt about this.

3. "Mae", "chiburi", and any other Kenjutsu terms I used are real - at least those are the words we use in my Kenjutsu dojo.

4. Not necessarily meant to be a HeeroxRelena fic. It can't be argued though that Relena didn't impact Heero somehow. I was thinking of that one image at the end of EW a lot, where Heero is kind of beat up and Relena holds him, almost like a mother. That was one of my inspirations of writing a "Heero is just a little boy" story - after all, he IS only 15, no matter how messed up and well trained he is.

Thank you for reading:-)

-Serria


End file.
